Zombie Hooker Nightmare F.T.W

Friday F.T.W

From now on, every friday, I will share with you all a mini-game to help you get past that long last hour of work. Mini-games meaning Flash games, Mobile games, etc. These wont be reviews, but rather games I feel people should check out and try at least once! However if there is a cost to play it, I will still drop in my two cents in regards to whether it's worth your cash or not. So let's begin with the first Friday.Time.Waster :

"Zombie Hooker Nightmare."

"Her Name Was Lola, She Was A Show Girl"

Online Game
Free to Play
No Age Rating: Mature Content and Themes


This game is a fun, mindless, zombie destroying game brought to us by Adult Swim. In this game you play a lady of the night named, Lola who is trying to save her cliental before zombies hookers kill them and her. Yeah, I'll admit its a pretty trashy concept, but still an entertaining game none the less. Lola has access to different weapons like a shotgun, machine gun, and a shovel, all the essentials needed in a zombie apocalypse. You can only carry one weapon at a time and every night requires you to save a certain number of her cliental by getting their attention and bringing them back to your trailer home.

"Those Zombie Hookers Are Relentless"

It's fun, mindless and never-ending (unless you die). There is a high ranking system and an online leader board for this game so if you want to keep trying till you make the number one spot, you will have my respect! So bored workers of today, here is your Friday.Time.Waster.

ENJOY!!!

You can play "Zombie Hooker Nightmare" here:

http://games.adultswim.com/zombie-hooker-nightmare-action-online-game.html

No More Heroes: Heroes Paradise Review

No More Heroes: Heroes Paradise Review

"If I become number one, will you do it with me?"

Under The Radar Game!
Game: No More Heroes: Heroes Paradise
Developer: Grasshopper Manufacturer
Publisher: Konami
Rating: Mature
Platforms: Ps3
MSRP:39.99

"No More Heroes" is a series that began on Nintendo's Wii which became a cult favorite. With so many games on the Wii being family oriented, "No More Heroes" was the first game to bring crude humor, blood and gore to the system, something its older audience needed desperately. Times change and the developers have since left Nintendo, bringing their prized product to the Sony PS3 with better graphics and new game play modes. Is this a shining gem hidden in the desert of Ps3 titles or is this a game that was better left unknown.

Story

The story of "No More Heroes" revolves around a twenty something anime nerd named Travis Touchdown. After spending years being a Mexican wrestler he decides to change his profession. He then buys a beam katana (light saber) in an online auction and decides to become a hired killer. His first night on the job he meets a beautiful woman named Sylvia Crystal who gives him a gig assassinating a person known as "The Drifter". After "The Drifter" is dealt with, Travis finds out that the woman who hired him is a representative of the United Assassins Association and by killing him he has entered himself into a competition of sorts. He is ranked as the 10th best assassin in the world, and anyone who wants to claim this title must kill him to do so. Being trapped in the situation where he can only advance by killing the other assassins, and with death being the only way out he asks Sylvia that if he becomes number one will she sleep with him.  With her only answer being "Maybe" that is good enough for Travis and he sets out to kill the 9 killers above him to become number one.

I wish I could say I made some part of that up, but it's true. No More Heroes is a wacky story about you helping a nerd kill people to get laid. The game itself acknowledges this is a flimsy plot but argues that "gamers these days don't have much patience", gamers want an excuse to cut people in half and "No More Heroes" churns out a simple one for them. And despite its simplicity it is a memorable plot. No More Heroes is a game that doesnt take itself too seriously and given its style and theme its acceptable.

Grade: B

Gameplay

No More Heroes is essentially what a game would look like if it were made by Quentin Tarantino. Travis cuts down enemies with blood squirting cartoonishly like fountains out of enemies. His fighting style is a combination of sword play / mexican wrestling moves so enemies can either be cut down or finished off with real life wrestling moves with the hit of a button.

The games set up itself is open world based. Travis lives in a small U.S / Mexican border city called Santa Destroy and the player can traverse this environment at anytime during the game. Using Travis you go to different sites on the map to do meniel jobs to earn cash. When you've earned enough cash, you can have Travis arrange his next ranking fight and the game essentially repeats this process over and over.

For this very simple reason the game is kind of needlessly repetitive. The jobs Travis does to make cash are nothing like the gorey main stages of the game but include games where he; collects coconuts, finds lost kittens, and mows grass. Unless you find some kind of humor in the randomness of these games, you will probably be bored at these parts of the games hoping for them to be over quickly.

However it is the boss fights that make this game shine. Every Assassin is a colorful and unique individual in which you have to kill an ungodly amount of henchmen to get to. This is where "No More Heroes shines" as a fun mindless hack and slash game as you cut through tons upon tons of enemies to get to your next Assassin battle. And when you do arrive, the bosses themselves dont take the same hit, hit, and repeat motions. Each boss requires a different strategy to bring them to their knees, and the game feels so rewarding when you figure out how.

When your done with the game the Ps3 version offers three more ways to kill time. There is ranking mode which allows you to fight all of the games bosses for points and high ranking statuses. Then there is the leader board viewer which allows you to see how well you rank with other people playing the game. And finally there is character viewer mode which allows you to see all the characters up close and personal in different poses and costumes. While this doesn't seem like much it is a nice addition compared to the original version where there was nothing to do after the story was completed.


Grade: B+

Graphics and Sound:

While this is a port of a Wii game the graphics have been completely remastered for the Ps3. And even though the graphic style of the game is  cell shaded, there is an extreme amount of details present in this version than when compared to its original. The game carries a punk rock aethestic and it fits perfectly to the story its trying to tell. Load screens have cool punk rock sticker effects, and all the original clothing that Travis can decorate himself in shine marvelously. The soundtrack while acceptable is nothing special, you essentially hear the same theme remixed five times, with a few stand out tracks when you encounter bosses.

My personal favorite is the song that plays when you fight the 2nd ranked assassin, "Pleather for Breakfast".

"Don't think your better than me, this is just a job, y'know, the daily grind."

Grade: B+

Verdict

In the current age of gaming where every company is obsessed with making sequels or shooters its nice to see a studio try something new. While "No More Heroes" may not be the most polished game it does have soul and its clear a lot of effort went into making it. Does it get repetitive at times? Sure. But you should give it a chance because as of right now there is no other game quite like it. It's weird and embraces itself for it, and if you give it a chance you might learn to love it for its weirdness too.

Final Grade: B+

Is it worth your money?: If your having a bad day and looking for a nice violent way to blow off your steam this is the game for you. It's quirky, fun and brings you all the violent action your heart can desire.  I would wait a while if your not to keen on repetitive content, I would wager this games true value at 25-30 dollars.

Soul Calibur V Review

"A tale of swords and souls, eternally retold"

New Release!

Game: Soul Calibur V

Developer: Bandai Games

Publisher: Namco

Rating: Teen

Platforms: Xbox 360 & Ps3

MSRP: 59.99

The Soul Calibur series is back with it's newest installment, "Soul Calibur V". Being the fifth game of a fighting series that has fallen to obscurity over the years, is this game the shining star the developers hope for? By the end of this review we'll let you know if this series is still on fire, and more importantly if it's worth your cash.

Story

Story has always been a joke to fighting games, a detail flimsily meant to string along reasons for characters to fight one another. I suppose in a sense the fighting game industry is just like the adult film industry, its creators are assured that people never buy their products for the plot, rather for the action that unfolds. From popular gaming series like "Street Fighter" to "Tekken", no one has ever walked away from an arcade fighting game coherently understanding the plot, and "Soul Calibur V" is no exception.

From what can be gathered, the story of "Soul Calibur V" revolves around a twin brother and sister, Patroklos and Pyrrha. The two are caught on opposite sides of a war, but decide to run away together. Pyrrha gets possessed by a cursed sword and it is up to her brother to free her from its grasp. The writing for the story is unapologetic with it's cheesyness. Dialogue is bland and flat, and any attempt the game makes to stir up humor will just come off as awkward or annoying. Worst of all these offences, the main character who you are supposed to feel invested in and want to succeed, is the most obnoxious and  unlikeable character the series has ever made. His personality is whiney conceited as all he does is complain. And while it is common for characters to begin this way in stories, then through the course of the plot develop and gain life lessons, the character is so obnoxious you just wont care. The voice actors themselves deliver their lines so unenthusiastically it sounds as if they are just reading lines for the first time waiting for their paycheck. In short this is a story you will want to skip through.

Again, while most fighting games don't focus on story, there is no need for it to be lacking so much here. In prior entries to the series there were mini-plots construed for every fighter in the game, and while they were short and confusing they were a lot more satisfying than the grand story that Soul Calibur V" tries to weave. The story here simply seems like a missed opportunity to engage the player in the product more, instead the player is treated to bland, forgettable, filler.

Grade: C-/D+

Gameplay


The fighting system in "Soul Calibur V" is not only life like, but beautiful and addicting. Characters realistically wield weapons with the weight and force one would expect when fighting with anything from axe's to rapiers. Unlike most fighting games however the concept of button mashing ( randomly hitting the buttons on a controller with force to win a match) doesn't translate well here.  The foundation of the game is built on learning how to block and unleashing combos on your opponent, something that takes practice and dedication to master and gives a rewarding feeling when you do.

The game itself is essentially divided into three main segments. First being online mode which pits the player in fights with other players across the world in 1 on 1 combat. After engaging other opponents for a few rounds the game allows you to designate other players of your choosing as "rivals". The game then notifies you when they are on and you can challenge them for matches at anytime. There is also a leaderboard feature, which allows you to see how you rank compared to other players across the world.

The next segments are offline modes, with the first being essentially what the game is all about, fighting. You can choose to do the story campaign, or fight in classic arcade mode (A storyless mode where you choose the character you want and fight 6 opponents to win). Each of these modes are, at least where gameplay is concerned, a blast to play and will make you come back for more.

The final segment is character creation. A feature introduced in one of the early titles of the series, "Soul Calibur V" allows you to actually make a fighter of your own to bring into battle. This is probably the most exciting part of the whole game as your only limit is your own imagination. Want to make a 70's disco goddess with guns? You got it! Want to make Ronald Mcdonald?You bet you can! Character creation without a doubt is one of the features that makes the game worthwhile and any gamer should try it out at least once.

Grade: A-

Graphics & Sound


In an age of beautiful high definition graphics, every game gets closer and closer to looking more life like and Soul Calibur V is no exception. All the characters have tiny details that truly shine when playing on a High definition television and the environments are stunning to look at. The soundtrack is an orchestral score of different original pieces very fitting for cinematic fighting. Reminiscent of the sounds you would hear in Lord of the Rings or Star Wars movies. It isn't hard to guess that it was the graphics that the developers focused on most and truly, it shows.

Grade: B+

Verdict


While "Soul Calibur V" isn't a bad game, its very good, it's just not great. Too many issues are lacking for no reason other than developer laziness. And it is a shame because so much of this game felt like a missed opportunity. When compared to other games in the series it feels like this entry took a step back. Yes it is the best looking game so far, but what it makes up for in beautiful graphics it lacks in  creativity and innovation.

Final Grade: B-

Is it worth your money: If you loved the Soul Calibur series in the past, I wouldn't hesitate to get this one as the game you love is hidden somewhere deep inside. But if you were a newbie to the series I would hold off on buying it just yet. I would give this game a true value of 20-30 dollars.